The Cover-up FOUND by McKenzie Wilkins in Bradenton, Florida
Wanna go tanning? I’m trying to get rid of this hickey!
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What up y’all!
Want hickeys of your own? Then give the gift of FOUND this holiday season! Seriously, we’re always hearing from folks who’ve received FOUND books and magazines as gifts: “It was my favorite present!” When you buy FOUND goodies for your favorite friends and enemies, you’re also giving crucial support to FOUND and keeping our little mom-and-pop operation running strong. In fact, Davy’s mom will probably be the one to mail out your FOUND gifts! Read the rest of this entry »
To NOT Do List
FOUND by Diane Sullivan in Burlington, VT
–DO NOT spend money on anything except:
clothing for winter/Halloween
Grocery Items
Sarah’s Birthday dinner
Sushi
Metal show/ movie Kill Bill
!!save all other money!!
–DO NOT “fall in love” with any strangers
–DO NOT procrastinate the trip to Japan
–DO NOT eat junk!! Any form of potato or corn chips. No Fritos, no
Lays, no Ruffles, no Cape Cod nothing!! No maple lead cookies, no
peanut butter cookies!
–DO NOT start another tab at work
–DO NOT fret over Wendy or in any case “being alone”
–DO NOT borrow money from Mom
–DO NOT eat at Oasis or any shit food place
–DO NOT watch pornographic movies
–DO NOT Masturbate
–DO NOT MASTURBATE!!!
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What up everyone! In the spirit of Diane’s awesome find, we thought we’d share a coupla items from our own To NOT Do List… Read the rest of this entry »
Undignified Pleading FOUND in a university computer center by Davy Rothbart
Andrew,
I have not graded your test yet, but it is clear that my message to you about receiving the grade you earn has not gotten through. To write, as you do, “Please have mercy on my soul and give me a passing grade, I think I deserve it,” indicated that, as do your numerous pleas for mercy earlier in the course. Grading is about receiving what your coursework indicates you deserve. Nothing else!! I have operated on that principle for about 40 years, and I am not about to change now. So please stop the undignified pleading. I’ll enter the grades for all students in 344 at the same time, and you will receive what you EARN. No more, no less.
+Professor Massey
Thanks to the tech wizards at Zannel, we’ve got a fun widget to introduce! Zannel has been kind enough to help Davy and Peter Rothbart chronicle their travels on the There Goes the Neighborhood tour through videos and photographs (which they shoot and instantly upload to the Zannel/FOUND site) … and now they’ve provided a widget that automatically updates to the most recent post from Davy and Peter.
We’re still working out some of the embed-kinks; in the meantime, wanna check out the older stuff? Head over the the FOUND/Zannel archives here.
Letter from the Michigan Unemployment Office FOUND by George W. in Grand Rapids, MI
Dear Sir,
Your employer has not indicated that shortages was your reason for discharge. Stated you played with matches and set fire to paper in a trash can. Set fire to reports. Wrote abscene graffiti on the paper work, calendars and posted signs. You engaged in hourseplay — pouring ammonia on dry ice in the back room which caused the dry ice to explode. You twirled a broom and hit a customer in the head.
Exciting news from Cowtown! The venerable Calgary gallery space arthouse premiered the exhibit “Re-natural” (curated by Laura Fenniak) earlier this week. The exhibition runs through July 20th, so if you find yourself in the area, don’t forget to stop by– we’ve heard nothing but wonderful things about it so far!
Wanna peek?
FOUND invades Germany! Absender unbekannt, the German translation of FOUND, got a nice profile in the big-time German magazine Der Spiegel last week. Check out the German version here and the English translation here. Glückwünsche und Dank, Deutschland!
Once again (and AGAIN!) FOUND and Quickmuse bang heads in service of improv’d poetry. Every Quickmuse event is special, but this installment is not to be missed! Quickmuse editor Ken Gordon dips into the music scene and plucks out two of the best lyricists out there: Brad Roberts (Crash Test Dummies and monologist bar none) and David Berman (Silver Jews and the author of the stunning poetry collection Actual Air).
A quick refresher for those who have forgotten: Quickmuse gives some of the best poets in the world (former Quickmusers include Robert Pinsky, Paul Muldoon, and David Lehman) fifteen minutes to improvise a poem based on a writing prompt (that’s where FOUND comes in!). What separates Quickmuse from other slam/improv sites is that they record every word, right and wrong– you can actually WATCH these fine poets create their brilliant work.
So make sure you head over to Quickmuse next Tuesday, June 19th, and witness the poetic mayhem!!
We collect FOUND stuff: love letters, birthday cards, kids' homework,
to-do lists, ticket stubs, poetry on napkins, telephone bills, doodles -
anything that gives a glimpse into someone
else's life. Anything goes...
